I know we've both lost our parents. The first xmas after each of their deaths held a special sadness, esp. after my mom's death, but my spirit and enjoyment of the season was still there. I've not lost a sibling yet, so I don't know how you feel exactly, but I'm sure it adds a whole extra layer of sadness. They are us - our generation (even when they're a bit older), our co-conspirator in countless secrets and exploits. And when it happens so close to the holidays, well, my heart goes out to you. I guess this is part of what I wanted to write in the xmas card. I think I'll just send it now.
XOXOX back at ya