Putting Out an APB on My Xmas Spirit

[loracs]

Three days before Christmas and I'm just not feeling it.  I didn't feel like decorating, although I did some.  I wasn't excited about giftmas shopping, but we did our mall-day-o'shopping last week.  I didn't have my annual open house.  I'd been throwing them since 1992 and the only other time I didn't have it was in 1999 because we had just moved on Thanksgiving weekend.  Most years we had 40 to 60 people stop by.  Is it because I'm getting old or is it a confluence of depressing crap this year?  

Depressing Crap List:

Our dog Gilly died in Sept. and I really miss her. 

The lay-offs in the city have placed me in a job I hate.  Every work day since Nov. 17th  I wake up dreading going to work.

Stacy, Guy's long time attendant, quit because she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer about three weeks ago and it's very advanced.  She helped me decorate each year.  Last year she gave me a Santa who "Ho Ho Ho'd" and then bent over, pulled down his pants and farted. 

The economy is scary and I think it's going to get worst. 

I'm sure there's more, but these are the big ones. 

Tonight I went in search of my xmas spirit.  I went out to mail the xmas cards.  I grabbed a hot coco, turned the radio to the all xmas music station, turned off the heater and drove around looking at xmas lights.  I parked across from a tree lot and watched families pick out trees.  Nothing.  I parked in front of the house with moving dioramas.  One is Santa's workshop with the elves pounding away at toys.  Another is 3 snowmen who rotate around a xmas tree.  As each one comes to the front, he stops, turns and "shivers".  They all carry signs with greetings on them.  Tonight I imagined they were strikers on a picket line.  There are several 2-D trains made of lights that blink on and off to make it look like the wheels are turning and smoke coming out of the smoke stack.  I thought of pollution. 

I decided this wasn't working and came home before I saw one more set of framed deers with white lights and moving heads and thought of Sarah Palin.  Or before I heard Wham's Last Christmas on the radio again.

If anyone has seen my xmas spirit or has any to share, please let me know. 

Comments

[loracs.livejournal.com]

Thank you. This is the first time I've ever felt like this, you know how I usually am at xmas time.

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

I know. You've had such a rough year that it seems reasonable to me that "merry" would be difficult. To tell you the truth, I kinda hate that the holidays put such pressure on people to be festive and jovial.

[loracs.livejournal.com]

I hate that part too, but until this year I had a natural "merry", but it's just so different this year. My mom died in Sept. 2000 and while I was sad sometimes, I still celebrated authentically.
Well, back to making the clam dip.

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

Yeah. This year so MANY things have happened that you haven't had a chance to breathe.

I didn't realize you were off today. I'll give you guys a call in a minute.