(no subject)

Just got a call from my oldest sister. Her partner of 14 years (Matt) just died this morning. He was 72 years old and not in the best of health. A smoker and a drinker, but they seemed to have a good relationship. My sister is a bit of a drama queen and he was able to calm her down. He went through the death of our parents, a move out of state, the drama of my nephew and his 4 kids in and out of their house. The oldest is 14, so Matt is the only grampa they remember.

My Sister, Jo Jo

The death of Jo Jo's partner today will be very rough on her.

She has, since her first wedding at 19, always gone from one husband and/or live in boyfriend to the next with very little time in between (from a couple of weeks to a couple of months, at most.) During these short unattached periods, she had one or more of her children living with her. Now she has one old, half blind, diabetic dog. My sister will be 66 yrs old Jan. 17.

She is a strong woman in many ways. She has made some bad choices and survived. Three of her 5 major relationships have been with alcoholics and another was with a "dry drunk" who carried a gun and had a very mean streak.

She's raised 3 children through all the turmoil of these first few relationships and has been very involved in the child care of her 4 grandsons.

She survived losing almost everything she owned (including 2 much loved dogs)in a fire about 8 years ago.

She worked hard up until her retirement 2 years ago. All her jobs were very physical. The last decade she worked in an Illinois State care facility. She took care of people, most often poor people, who had no where else to go at the end of their lives. She worked through the AIDS crisis, when she watched many young men come through the doors in an ambulance and leave in a hearse. She changed thousands of soiled bedsheets, emptied bed pans and gave sponge baths. Lifted and rearrange frail bodies, trying her best not to cause them any pain. She had friendly co-workers, but she also has to deal with some of the nurses and doctors who looked down on her. After 10 years she came away with a small pension to add to her social security. And she moved to a small town in Missouri to be near 2 of her children.

These last couple of years have been good. She said they'd been less stressed out about money. She was retired, he'd been retired since they met. She told me she wasn't ready to let him go.

Are we ever?