May. 30th, 2006

loracs: (Girl with Pearl Earring)
In last nights dream, I was pregnant. It was completely unexpected. My mother's voice told me it's a "change of life" baby. What was I going to do? I couldn't have a "change of life" baby because it would change my life. I argued with myself and with my mother. I'm in my late 40's, there would never be another chance. I never wanted a baby. I never wanted to be a mother. "But it's a 'change of life' baby." my mother kept repeating to my every argument. I don't want my life to change. "It's a 'chance of life' baby." she said, just before I woke.

I don't believe I have ever had a pregnancy dream. I can only remember a few times I've been a mother in a dream. Actually, once I was a father, don't remember the details now, but I was definitely called "dad" by several children.

Somewhere under these musings, I feel a deeper connection to my wakeful life. Much like a dream, it's reflected in a "Meanings may be closer than they appear" mirror. Time to go to bed, perchance to dream.

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loracs

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