Oct. 4th, 2007
I've been having gallbladder pain for a while now; actually saw a surgeon in July. I didn't like her, so I didn't pursue the surgery, plus I was feeling better. Did I mention that I hate, hate, hate the idea of anesthesia and being out of control of my body. And there's the death possibility thing too. I went through this about 3 years ago when I had knee surgery. While I don't like pain, I understand pain. I'm not terrified of pain. Death I have no experience with and it scares the shit out of me. Not being in total control of my body I am becoming more familiar with as I age, yet having no control over my body is another arena I have no experience with; again with the scared shitless.
Last weekend I had a bad attack and it lead to an appointment with my primary care doctor. She sent me to the lab for some blood work, she didn't like what she saw and made an immediate appointment for an ultrasound and alerted the ER I was coming in. This is Kaiser, so it was all in the same complex. Nine hours later, after much pushing on my abdomen by many doctors, I was sent home with an appointment to see a surgeon the next day. I liked this surgeon and I'm scheduled to enter the hospital Friday morning for a 6 pm surgery. She wants me in the hospital early to make sure my blood sugar is stable. I had a low while I was at the doctor's office. I've been eating very little and almost no fat, trying to be good to my gallbladder. Usually when I get a low, I know it, feel it, test for it and treat it and from start to finish it's about 30 minutes. This time I did all that and it continued for two hours. I'm signing off for the surgery, I'm undergoing the pre-op physical, I'm answering and asking questions, all the while I'm sweating, shaking and feeling crappy. Add the over-all feeling of dread and fear and I can truly say I was having a bad day.
After the appointment, I made my way on shaky legs to a bus stop, sat down and called![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
stonebender / serenejournal (they were together in Berkeley) and dbubley (she was at home.) Tears and fear flowed (more like a torrential rain) through the phone. I wasn't very coherent. stonebender took off immediately to come find me. By the time he got there I was feeling more stable. While I waited I kept testing my blood, slowly eating a bagel I'd started 2 hours before and silently crying. I'm sure I was quite a site. This was right outside Kaiser’s main medical building and next to the hospital at the end of a shift. There were lots of people around, which would have come in handy if I’d pass out. While I waited for stonebender , dbubley and serenejournal took turns calling me on the phone to make sure I was okay. They didn’t know they were taking turns, but as soon as I’d hang up with one, the other one would call. What did we do before cell phones?
Last weekend I had a bad attack and it lead to an appointment with my primary care doctor. She sent me to the lab for some blood work, she didn't like what she saw and made an immediate appointment for an ultrasound and alerted the ER I was coming in. This is Kaiser, so it was all in the same complex. Nine hours later, after much pushing on my abdomen by many doctors, I was sent home with an appointment to see a surgeon the next day. I liked this surgeon and I'm scheduled to enter the hospital Friday morning for a 6 pm surgery. She wants me in the hospital early to make sure my blood sugar is stable. I had a low while I was at the doctor's office. I've been eating very little and almost no fat, trying to be good to my gallbladder. Usually when I get a low, I know it, feel it, test for it and treat it and from start to finish it's about 30 minutes. This time I did all that and it continued for two hours. I'm signing off for the surgery, I'm undergoing the pre-op physical, I'm answering and asking questions, all the while I'm sweating, shaking and feeling crappy. Add the over-all feeling of dread and fear and I can truly say I was having a bad day.
After the appointment, I made my way on shaky legs to a bus stop, sat down and called
stonebender / serenejournal (they were together in Berkeley) and dbubley (she was at home.) Tears and fear flowed (more like a torrential rain) through the phone. I wasn't very coherent. stonebender took off immediately to come find me. By the time he got there I was feeling more stable. While I waited I kept testing my blood, slowly eating a bagel I'd started 2 hours before and silently crying. I'm sure I was quite a site. This was right outside Kaiser’s main medical building and next to the hospital at the end of a shift. There were lots of people around, which would have come in handy if I’d pass out. While I waited for stonebender , dbubley and serenejournal took turns calling me on the phone to make sure I was okay. They didn’t know they were taking turns, but as soon as I’d hang up with one, the other one would call. What did we do before cell phones?A million things are going through my head right now. I want to thank clever_doberman , who came to the ER and stayed with me for many, many, many hours. I felt bad because they didn’t have a comfortable chair for her, so it was a pain in more ways than the boring way.
clever_doberman , who came to the ER and stayed with me for many, many, many hours. I felt bad because they didn’t have a comfortable chair for her, so it was a pain in more ways than the boring way. The first doctor I saw was a surgical resident. She asked if I had anyone at home. I said yes, I have two partners. Quiz look as she said “partners?” When I defined them as one domestic and one wild, she only looked more confused. I further explained that I had two partners, one man and one woman. I said it’s called polyamory. When she said “I don’t know what that means.” I said, “Well you must not watch much Oprah.” Just as she finally figured out that this 50 year old, fat woman was talking about two lovers/partners/significant others, clever_doberman walked in. At which I announced, “This is L.E. and she is neither of my partners.” Fun in the ER!
clever_doberman walked in. At which I announced, “This is L.E. and she is neither of my partners.” Fun in the ER!I also want to thank serenejournal , who came over to help stonebender out and stayed the night. She made some wonderful veggie soup to eat when I got home. I was starving. I’d only had a glass of tomato juice, a few bits of cantaloupe, an apple, a banana and a slightly stale, plain, dry bagel all day long. At midnight, a warm meal was very much appreciated.
serenejournal , who came over to help stonebender out and stayed the night. She made some wonderful veggie soup to eat when I got home. I was starving. I’d only had a glass of tomato juice, a few bits of cantaloupe, an apple, a banana and a slightly stale, plain, dry bagel all day long. At midnight, a warm meal was very much appreciated. And a big thank you to my partners, dbubley and stonebender , both were ready to rush out into the cold, dark night to come to the ER, but I said to stay in place because I had a feeling I would be coming home. I love you both so very, very, much.
dbubley and stonebender , both were ready to rush out into the cold, dark night to come to the ER, but I said to stay in place because I had a feeling I would be coming home. I love you both so very, very, much. And the adventure continues . . .
