Can't Sleep

stonebenderjust went to bed.  I should be there too.  I haven't made a decision yet.  I find myself talking as if I have made it.  As if I'm going to take it, but then I think of everything else and I get all weepy.  Breaking the news to my boss and co-workers.  Taking the pictures off my office walls - many of which were given to me by my co-worker T.  Cleaning up and out all my files both paper and electronic.  This is the first job I've had where I kept any personal items.  I'll need a couple of boxes.  

See what I mean - I'm talking as if . . .

(no subject)

Spoke with my sister, N, this morning. She thinks I should take it, although she is worried how 5 days a week will affect stonebender. It will be rough getting use to working on Fridays, but as she pointed out this adds up to a significant amount of money per year, and that will really impact my retirement amount. If I can hold out 5 years, that is. Of course, these 20 years have flown by, so I think it should be fine.

Other new weirdness of me bio family: N is my sister who can keep a secret like nobodies business. Unlike our older sister, J, who never keeps a secret. Well, N hit me with the news that she has a 3 month old granddaughter! Her youngest son M (who turned 26 yrs old yesterday) is a father. The reason for all the secrecy; the mother is married to another man. She and my nephew hooked up while she was separated. Then she got pregnant and then she reconciled with her husband. M told my sister the baby was his a few months into the pregnancy. My sister didn't want to believe it. They had paternity tests taken at 1 month old to confirm it. Now, how did N tell her husband, F, that he was a grandfather for the first time? On the day of the paternity results, she was watching the child at their son's apartment. Who should knock on the door, but the soon to be shocked grandfather? He was surprised first, to see his wife there and second, to see her rocking a little baby. He asked "who is this?" and my sister said "your granddaughter!” My sister, she can keep a secret like nobodies business and she can tell the truth with a flourish.

Undecided

And I'm not talking about Tuesday's election. To change jobs or not? clever_doberman suggested I act as if I'm taking the job. Then sleep on it and see how it feels in the morning. I just don't want to make the wrong decision. Maybe there is no wrong or right decision. In either case, I will continue to work. Will less responsibility, more money and a more restrictive schedule make me happy? Will the same money, same pressure and a somewhat flexible schedule make me happy? Am I happy now? Is "happy" really something I should expect from a job?

Off to bed and hopefully to sleep, if not, I'm sure you'll see another post before morning.