Just Another Herd Creature

"Savor every happy moment." "Never settle." "Enjoy Life's sweet surprises." "Melt someone's heart with a Promise" "The only promise you should break is a DOVE Promise" "Have Chocolate before bed to sweeten your dreams." "Life without Chocolate is too terrible to contemplate."

These are the messages printed on the inside of the Dove Promise Dark Chocolates. As I'm munched on them today I left the wrappers on the desk. As I am getting ready to leave work and I'm cleaning up I read them all. These little bite size messages are a cross between a philosophy and a commercial. What a perfect example of our pop culture. Not much to add to this except it does document my intake of 7 pieces of chocolate today. Thank you dbubley for the bag of yummy sweetness.

And an 8th for the road: "Celebrate the child in you."

I just took my first oxycodone a little while ago and it is really hitting me. I'm glad I only took one. I still have to make it to the bedroom. Haven't felt this out of it in a long long time. I wanted to write a big thank you to everyone that's been helping me but I don't think i can write any more.

Yesterday I went plant shopping and probably bought more than I have time to plant. They have to go in today cause I will not have any other free time before I have surgery on Tuesday. I bought a couple more pink calla lilies, several tomato plants, a basil, leaf lettuce and about 5 or 6 other flowers. And with the "spring forward" thing I'm already an hour behind!

Yesterday was a wonderful day. I spent time pulling weeds and getting ready for some spring plantings. dbubley and I went shopping and I got lots of things I needed and a few I didn't. But the most important was 4 basketballs for Gilly! The dobie girl has to have her toys.

I also got a few tomato plants and a pink calla lilly. Then came home to find serenejournal preparing dinner. I took a short nap and woke to the smell of sunshine a.k.a. serenejournal canning marvelous lemon/orange jelly. stonebender was so jazzed about the jelly, it was cute to see him that excited. Tis the little things in life.

For all the fun parts of yesterday there was one bummer thing. The ramp on the van broke AGAIN. Same problem. So I'll do the same nerve wracking drive to the repair shop tomorrow morning. And it's suppose to rain so I have to go out and try to waterproof the open door way as best as I can. Once again duct tape and bungee cords are my tools of choice!

The ramp on the van is fixed. First I had a 11.1 mile drive in rain with the ramp held up by 3 bungee cords and plastic and duct tape trying to keep the rain out. It took me an hour cause I didn't want to do the highway or even drive too fast. The rain and flapping/tearing plastic added to my nerves as I kept checking that the ramp didn't come loose. But I made it safely there and they even were able to fix it. Yeah. I would cap "yeah" but they fixed this only a month ago so I'll have to reserve a little excitement for a month from now!

Working late but I'm think I'm ready to go now. This old building is very scary at night esp. now with everything out of place and some of the lights not working from the last water leak we had in Feb. It took out some of the lighting fixtures and of course there's no reason to fix it since they will be gutting the building within the next few months.

I finally have a few days off and I planned to do some much needed gardening and now it's raining. And it's suppose to continue raining for much of the weekend and into next week. Well, on the bright side I don't have to water anything.

I do have a few plants I bought last week to put in the flower box outside. First I was in a rush to get them planted cause I figured I could sit outside if the weather was nice while I was recouping from the surgery. But when they canceled the surgery . . . all I can say is they are still in their plastic bags sitting in the living room. Maybe I can at least plant them today - before they die!

I love sitting here at my computer looking out the window. Right now I am watching a pair of brown doves rest on our fence post. First they walked back and forth until each figured out where they best wanted to be. One is sitting still while the other is in full grooming mode.

I have a few errands to do today but maybe I can sneak in a nap. I know I'm fairly sleep deprived and cloudy/rainy days like today really reinforce that "curl up in bed and sleep till I wanna get up" feeling. Something that is such a luxury.

Okay, now I'm AWAKE! Gilly (the dobie dog) was laying on the floor next to me but then she had a violent sneeze attack. And the first one was so hard and loud I heard her bottom jaw slam against the wood floor. Then she stood for the next few which were equally loud but at least her head was far enough away from the floor to spare her whacking it. Since my allergies have really been in high gear the last few days I can commiserate with her - so far I've been lucky enough not to whack myself.

I am keeping myself distracted from the surgery scheduled next Wednesday by trying to take care of every little thing. I haven't been put under since I was five and had my tonsils out. All I remember from that is the promise by a neighbor of ice cream when I got home but she never gave me any. Weird the details that stick with you. Her name was Mrs. Murphy and she rented the little house next door.

I'm doing mostly important things - making sure I have all my meds ordered and picked up. When did I became a walking fucking pharmacy? Got the taxes done. Had all the pre-op test done and called in for my phone interview with the nurse. I'm still behind packing at work. I'll pay all the bills this weekend. The weather has been so warm and springy that I have these grandiose plans of weeding the flower bed and planting some things this weekend. It's too early for the tomatoes but soon.

So back to this being conked out thing. I don't like to be out of control. (yes, I believe I hear a few family members out there laughing at this slight understatement) When I had my hand surgery about 8 years ago I requested a local and was fine with it. The only thing I hated was how cold the room was - even the warmed blankets didn't keep me all that warm.

There is something very scary about having to trust people (esp. strangers) with my body and my well being when I'm in a non-verbal and non-mobile state. Death is always a possibility while one is alive so I have to look at that piece of the puzzle too. I know it is low risk as far as surgeries go, but I personally know one person who while under for a broken bone went into a coma and never woke up again. She was brain dead and her husband eventually made the decision to remove life support. This is not a major worry but I know in the consent forms it will list various and sundry possible complications including death.

And then there's the pain. Even if my conscious brain doesn't remember the knife slicing into me, will my body remember? This all feels so unnecessary - where's the medical science of Star Trek. Point a salt shaker at me and presto changeo my meniscus is in it's original, fresh off the showroom floor condition.

And the pain includes coming awake in a strange place with strange people around. Having my knee all bandaged up. Trying to move with minimal pain. Being awkward. Maybe being nauseous and throwing up. I HATE to throw up. None of this sounds very fun, huh? So maybe limbing around the rest of my life is not looking so bad right now.

I know I'll do the adult thing, sign the consent papers, let them put needles in me, breath deeply as I sink into an unnatural sleep but that five year old inside of me is not that acquiescent. She is stamping her foot, demanding ice cream BEFORE and saying she does not like this, not ONE LITTLE BIT!

To Potlatch we go. A weekend without any thought of work! A weekend hanging out with family and friends. I'm am so, so, soooooooo READY!

Happy Birthday Stonebender!

We just got word last week that "they" (the powers that be above us in the Recreation Dept.) are pulling one of our key people out of our center to go elsewhere. He is one of 2 drama specialist (the only 2) for the entire city. No matter when this would happen it would be a blow to us, but now is possibly the worst timing in the world. We have to move our entire program to a new temporary facility while our current building is undergoing major rehab. This will take approx. 2 years and we are scheduled to be out of here by March 31. Gerald, the drama guy, has been taking the lead on sorting, packing and preparing the drama dept. – this includes at least a 1000 plus costumes, accessories, stage furniture, lights, flats, sound equipment – everything. In addition, he has been working with a couple of other departments helping them refine plans and gather information that the architects need so they can finish the blueprints. All of this is very, very important if we want to come back to a building that will really, truly fit our needs. Proper ventilation, water access, flooring requirements, lighting needs, power needs – and the list goes on.


None of this makes sense.