Just Another Herd Creature

She has knocked on death's door before.  She has run back to breath another day.  When everything going in and coming out of the body is contained in sterile plastic bags, when breath rushes in and out on the tick tock of a machine, when the body is just plain worn from the inside out, it may be time to knock on that damn door until someone answers.  

The doctors don't expect her to leave the hospital this time.  They've said this before.  It's different now.  More and more medical intervention to keep her breathing.  The number of places to get good lines in are rapidly decreasing.  And yet, when I saw her 2 weeks ago, she smiled, enjoyed my bad jokes, communicated in one word whispers, a little sign language, and lots of interpretation from her partner.  We talked of silly things; her adventure in learning to drive a power wheelchair, just before she entered the hospital.  Wheelchair- 1, her mother's antique coffee table - 0.  The fence that "jumped" in front of her, snaring her front wheels until helped arrived.  Future plans to get an accessible van and take road trips with their daughters.  

I'm tired for her.  At this moment, I'm too tired to cry. 

you have 3 fat girls in a hospital room visiting a fat patient? How about a silly question by a nurses aide, she walks in, talks one look around and asks if we are all sisters. One Mexican-American, one Native American and 2 basic European mutts, believe me none of us look alike. The first to find her voice said "no, we were just all buddies". The aid smiles and said " well you're all sisters in Christ". As she left I said "more like sister's in crisis", after all were were visiting our very sick "sister."

At 9 years old she may not be so much a "baby" anymore, but she still has a lot of "puppy energy"! Even with the graying snout, I'm not ready to transition to calling her my "old girl" just yet. What better day then the Ides of March for our "devil dobie" to celebrate her birthday. She had bacon grease on her food this morning. It was a *happy, happy, joy, joy* moment.

It's just a number, it's just another year. I've not made a big deal of my birthdays in the past - usually dinner and a movie with my partners and a friend or two was the most elaborate celebration. About 6 months ago, I decided I wanted to have a bigger party for this one. Unfortunately, through a series of events starting with dbubley's hospitalization, the xmas party season and my new job, the prep didn't happen. About 3 weeks ago I started looking for a location and nothing worked out. So I decided to celebrate at the house. I had a small party the night before with my Studio One family (the previous job) and a larger party last night. Making them both a potluck made it a little more relaxing for me. And with the most delightful, delicious, dexterous serenejournal serving as a hostess, I really did have a chance to just sit back and enjoy the party. Thank you serenejournal!

At one point, I looked around the room and realized all but one person was on LJ. Granted 4 or 5 people (all not on LJ) had already left, but still it was bit surprising how many there were of "us". And they were, starting with the usual suspects; stonebender, dbubley, serenejournal, someotherguy, sogwife, tracytreefrog,cassidyrose, babyfly, and catzen. I hope I didn't miss anyone.

There was great food, great people, great number of belly laughs; in other words, I had fun and think everyone else did too. Maybe I should start planning for my 60th now? ;-)

I shouldn't have sex with any math brain; if you score more than 200 on math you're out of my league. And you KNOW I plan my life by these tests. ;-)

Your brain: 120% interpersonal, 100% visual, 140% verbal, and 40% mathematical!

Congratulations on being 400% smart! Actually, on my test, everyone is. The above score breaks down what kind of thinking you most enjoy doing. A score above 100% means you use that kind of thinking more than average, and a score below 100% means you use it less. It says nothing about how good you are at any one, just how interested you are in each, relatively. A substantial difference in scores between two people means, conclusively, that they are different kinds of thinkers. Matching Summary: Each of us has different tastes. Still, I offer the following advice, which I think is obvious: Don't date someone if your interpersonal percentages differ by more than 80%. Don't be friends with someone if your verbal percentages differ by more than 100%. Don't have sex with someone if their math percentage is over 200%.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 99% on interpersonal You scored higher than 99% on visual You scored higher than 99% on verbal You scored higher than 99% on mathematical

Link: The 4-Variable IQ Test written by chriscoyne on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

I love the smell of diluted skunk. I inhale deeply as I drive through a sprayed area and I'm sad when the odor is gone. And gas - I love the smell of gas. I know inhaling a bunch of hydrocarbons are not good for the lungs; it says right there on the gas pump. I don't go out of my way to do so, but I do have fill the tank up every so often. Just like with the skunk, I don't want the full blast, but a fine mix of air and stink.

This tickled me. YouTube: Fulfilling Andy Warhole's Prophecy

A boa constrictor has claimed my chest. Breathing, eating and even swallowing feels tight. Not reality, just a trick of the nerves. It feels real. The muscles are not involved, at least not to the extent they feel. They are slightly spasmish. Not a word, but descriptive never-the-less.

When you need to keep your work clothes clean, breasts, belly and noodle soup do not go together.

I think this is the most number of posts I ever sent in one day.

Now I'm starving and I need to go hunt for food in the "wilds of downtown Oakland."

EDIT: Mmmmmmmm combo soup with clear noodles from the Saigon Restaurant. And plenty of cilantro, hot sauce and jalapenos. Now I'm ready for the last 2.5 hours of my "no work to do" work day.